Expectations and Reality

My basic expectations of my future spouse are starkly contrasted by my long term partner of 6 years. 

There are talks of marriage but nothing concrete. I honestly want to break it off. My patience has worn out. 

First area of concern: Communication

He never communicates his concerns especially related to his family. I feel that this is a barrier between us as I always hear of big plans from his family not him directly. 

Example, purchasing a car and changing careers. I always hear of this after the fact from who? His brother. WTF. 

Second area of concern: Lies

Honestly, I never realised he had the ability to be such a good liar. Or is this lacking in the communications department?

Example, me, “is your brother married (to keep his non-citizen girlfriend in the country)?”

Him, “I don’t know”

Me, “I saw a wedding picture in their house”

Him, “I don’t know”

Third area of concern: Sharing your spouse 

He has a good relationship with his older brother. I get it. But I don’t accept being second rate compared to his family. 

This will never change and though it is a good thing to be close with your family, it will cause much distress for me in the future. 

Example, points above. 

In fact all my concerns all tie back to his family. This is not on. 

Will I ever find anybody who is willing and committed?

Why is this titled ‘Expectations and Reality’ not ‘Expectations versus Reality’? Because they are always interlinked. There is nothing contrasting or binary about these aspects. 

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