Sadness

Today I have a sinking feeling of sadness out of nowhere.

God, help me.

If it were physical pain, it would be much better. But the sadness in my soul clouds my day in such a way it is simply too much to bear at times. Though, I know that this is a cross I am able to bear, with the grace of God.

Help me Lord to understand and carry this cross.

When Nobody Understands You

Okay, so I am starting my first online business. I have to do this now before I get married, have kids, have a mortgage, etc.

So, I’ve broken the news to my parents and sister. Naturally, they don’t understand and started to get worried etc as I wanted to be a professional organiser.

“A what…?”

A cleaner, rummaging through people’s dirty garage. That’s not what my parents envisioned for their MBA graduate and private schooled daughter.

It’s a journey to help young moms/mums get a hold of their household possession, usually the overflow of kids toys, pre-pregnancy clothes, and more importantly, the feeling of embarrassment that as a woman to have these under control. Most of the time, these women are successful professionally. They eat right, go to yoga and pilates three times a week with friends followed by coffee before picking up their kids. They might even work at their management job part-time.

That is my take on things.

Nobody understands – your family and friends don’t. But that’s alright. YOU understand. Your customers will understand.

It’s all alright.

So team, let’s get moving!

An Inspector Calls

Tonight, as I stall in some productive work after dinner, I come across An Inspector Calls (BBC, 2015). Looking at the thumbnail, it didn’t look quite as appealing as say the Sherlock nor Agatha Christie books turned film/TV shows, but alas, it’s different and got me thinking about my life. Or shall I say ‘inspecting’. Can you even ‘inspect’ one’s own life?

What’s clever about this story is that it catches you off guard. The way the characters are exposed and admit to themselves their faults shows that we are all predisposed to this behaviour and that everybody is equal. I felt saddened that some ‘older souls’ didn’t change. It reminds me of last Sunday’s Mass’ Gospel reading (Matthew 13:1-23) of how different people respond to truth. However there is hope in goodness.

My favourite lines were the final speech of Inspector Goole as he leaves the house.

“There are millions and millions of Eva Smiths and John Smiths still left with us with their lives and hopes and fears of sufferings and chances of happiness all intertwined with our lives. and what we think and do and say… We are responsible for each other.”

This valuable lesson gives me hope that we can do more for others and there are second chances. To me, we must learn it, or life will be all for nothing. What is even our purpose, if not to love each other and care for beautiful planet earth and creatures?

May the Lord bless you.

Reset

I am getting on with life after a long holiday after my little dog died suddenly. He will be 13 years old tomorrow. Getting on with life is much easier said than done. But it is funny that it happens without any prompting – you will be ready.

You will be better. Your soul will heal. Things will be alright.

Keep at it.

  1. Be sad – it’s ok. Take your time and forget people who tell you to ‘get over it’, or ‘snap out of it’. It can take a few weeks to years – it is your journey and your time.
  2. Surround yourself with good people who understand and root for you.
  3. Remember to eat – anything at the beginning then aim for wholesome food.
  4. Keep your end goal in mind – engage with it again and it will pull you forward.

 

Yap yap yap

Today I talked too much and revealed too much about myself to my colleagues. 

No, you never tell anybody you are thinking of leaving nor that you are starting a business. 

No no no no. 

Guys, if I were to rewind my day, I would use my brain and filter words before they come out!