Expectations and Reality

My basic expectations of my future spouse are starkly contrasted by my long term partner of 6 years. 

There are talks of marriage but nothing concrete. I honestly want to break it off. My patience has worn out. 

First area of concern: Communication

He never communicates his concerns especially related to his family. I feel that this is a barrier between us as I always hear of big plans from his family not him directly. 

Example, purchasing a car and changing careers. I always hear of this after the fact from who? His brother. WTF. 

Second area of concern: Lies

Honestly, I never realised he had the ability to be such a good liar. Or is this lacking in the communications department?

Example, me, “is your brother married (to keep his non-citizen girlfriend in the country)?”

Him, “I don’t know”

Me, “I saw a wedding picture in their house”

Him, “I don’t know”

Third area of concern: Sharing your spouse 

He has a good relationship with his older brother. I get it. But I don’t accept being second rate compared to his family. 

This will never change and though it is a good thing to be close with your family, it will cause much distress for me in the future. 

Example, points above. 

In fact all my concerns all tie back to his family. This is not on. 

Will I ever find anybody who is willing and committed?

Why is this titled ‘Expectations and Reality’ not ‘Expectations versus Reality’? Because they are always interlinked. There is nothing contrasting or binary about these aspects. 

Welcome 2017

Happy new year, my dear readers. 

Hope everybody had a well rested break and ready to live out the new year full out. 

It is important to take breaks. To totally disconnect from the world and connect with yourself. 

May your year be better than the last and one of the most memorable years yet. 

Minimalism journey

In my efforts to minimise my possessions, I came across my first bible from my uncle. 

Coincidentally, him and his family are staying with us for the Christmas break and I tried to give this to him for his son. 

Unfortunately, he decilined and now I have a children’s bible that I will not be reading, and it’s too old to give to charity. 

Recycling bin? Let me sleep on it. 

We are not the best, yet our calling is to be that

Nobody is a Saint here. It’s a work in progress. 

I come across many people. Many of whom have egos so big that it suffocates those around them, unbeknownst or they don’t care. 

It is very ugly, and I am not ashamed to say that I was once like so. Probably still am in many occasions that I would have liked. 

Lucky for me, I have many guides to help me see myself for who I am. A lowly vile creature and only with God’s love to purify me to be a child of His. 

God has given me the grace to see my imperfections and as a child of God, I am not my best, yet that is my calling. To be my best. To be a Saint. 

Lord, help me to be more like You. 

Yay. Weekends

I’m in a great part of the world where there’s sunshine and beautiful blue skies to greet the all too short weekends. 

How come I love weekends and on Monday, I hate life?

Work is not that bad. But could be better. 

Anyway…

I’m going to kick start the weekend with some spiritual work followed by life coaching. It’s my usual combo and I love it!

Slow down. Slippery road ahead

The perks of slowing down is that the universe will not make you slow down with signs such as an emergency to the hospital AND a car crash.

Today I had these two. It was a seemingly “bad day” until I saw a little white docket on my windscreen of the car. 

Grudgingly, I ripped it off to see what damage it had done to my wallet. 

As if I was blind, the amount was circled. 

“$0.00”

What…?

“$0.00”

I blinked again. Never has this happened. A machine failure I suppose. 

Perhaps I was blind. Two more circles. 

“Warning” at the title. 

“No need to pay” just above $0.00. 

It’s my day. 

The universe has given me a little gift tailored to my flavour. 

Slow down. There may or may not be slippery roads ahead (it’s raining now), but you gotta take it on with a clear head. 

Slow down, creative stalker. Slow down. 

Consumerism

When did I have the consumerism mentality of feeling a pang of loss when I didn’t get anything from the shops?

Especially when all my Christmas shopping is done and I really don’t need anything. 

Yes, pretty lights and signs shouting ‘take me home’ are alluring. When did I yearn for this?

Perhaps unfulfilling day job? Mm… I thinks so, hobitses.